Hearing: Agents of Oblivion - Endsmouth

I love this song. Dax Riggs truly has one of the most beautiful voices that I have ever heard. It's haunting and so are his lyrics.

I'm in a bit of a better mood lately. I'm sure this weekend will pick me back up because we have so much planned. I hate not being able to do anything. I was spending so much time on the computer working on graphics and other fun things. I didn't feel like painting at all this week so I got creative on the computer.

I didn't get much sleep at all the past two nights. I would go to bed and just lay there. Everything would easily disturb me, especially everything Jesse did. He's having some bad allergies right now so he's snoring and it's driving me mad. I'm constantly waking up because of it, then if it's not then he's harassing me in his sleep.

He's got a sleep disorder basically. I mean the guy can fall asleep anywhere. We'll be at an appointment together and he'll fall asleep in the middle of it. It's insane really. Then in the night he's got a bit of sexsomnia, very mildly but he's got it. It rarely happens but when it does, it keeps me up. He'll just try groping me or getting in the mood while he's in a deep sleep. I know he's sleeping so all I have to do is just give his hand a smack or something and he's instantly snoring away. It's an odd thing to live with but also a little interesting. I mean he has no memory of it ever and when I tell him he either has a good laugh, looks shocked or is really weirded out. There is always a funny story to tell him in the morning when it happens.

He also gets up in the middle of the night and just starts talking and none of it makes any sense. If I wake him in the night to pass me something on his side of the bed or just ask him something then he'll just start blabbering about the oddest thing and you would swear that he is up. The other night I asked him to pass me something and he was feeling straight out in the air looking for it. I thought that was hilarious.

Sometimes I think we should have our own rooms. He likes to fall asleep with music on, sometimes a light or the blinds open so he can stare outside. I like looking outside when it's dark inside and outside but not to fall asleep. I cannot stand noise at all. I mean if he's just breathing a little to loud I let him know it. I have to cover the light on the alarm clock even because that bothers me. I have had trouble falling asleep all my life. I have to be able to have absolute silence and darkness and enough room around me so I don't feel crowded so Jesse is rarely allowed to snuggle me when it's time to fall asleep and he's one of those clingy sleepers.

We get into arguments sometimes because I'm psycho about my sleeping arrangements. I will complain his leg is too close even though it's not touching me or he'll grumpily push me over a bit in the middle of the night because I'll keep telling him to move over until he's almost off the bed and when he wakes up I'm sleeping right in the middle of the bed while he's clinging to the edge.

I'm only like this when it's time to actually sleep. I like to snuggle before hand but when my eyes want to close everything changes. I get irritable and everything from someone else's body heat to how they breathe with keep me awake all night. I'm usually pretty good at controlling my thoughts so half the time when I'm laying awake all night racing thoughts have nothing to do with it. It's just what I don't like in my surroundings.

When Jesse gets kicked out of the room at night it's usually for those kinds of reasons, which he doesn't mind because he gets really sick of me getting anal about everything all night. He'll gladly leave every time.

Heh. Nights are fun sometimes.