Hearing: Scarling

I accomplished nothing today.

I didn't even want to accomplish anything anyway. I felt so tired.

I am so fucking fed up of being tired.

I'm going back to see my doctor this week.

I feel miserable inside. I have this never ending period, if you don't want to hear about this, well sorry but you have no choice unless you stop reading. I am bleeding like their is no tomorrow. I have my period for a week, then it's gone for a week and it just keeps going on like this.

I had so much sleep last night and it didn't help. I am taking folic acid, vitamin B12, and iron. I'm hoping something will take this ice cold feeling out of my body.

Being so tired just makes life so stressful between Jesse and I. He's tired from work and we just seem to not be able to do anything. I feel no desire for him, he seems to be the same yet he says it's not so. I told him we need to do our own thing, but he thinks I am only saying this because I'm angry. I'm not, we both need this. I can feel this. I push him out the door to hang out with his friends and I prefer to be out on my own, without him.

It goes beyond this though, I'm so tired and he has been taking on most of the duties here at home. I know it's getting to him because when I mention something else he just snaps at me.

I spent a lot of time in my bedroom today listening to music and fucking around with my hair. I didn't want to be near him. I got all dressed up and was about to go out when something came up, I started to feel dizzy and out of breath. Things were a little better when I sat down. Jesse said I looked beautiful and kissed me and proceeded to take care of me.

I don't know what it is but he is just perfect in those small ways. No matter what we're going through, he ALWAYS takes care of me. That's how I know we're best friends for life, whether we're together or not.

We took lots of fun pictures this week and I may post some of them.

Here are two of my weird abstract paintings anyway. (in real life they're much bigger and better detailed) Maybe next time I'll show some of my oil paintings.