Music: Emperor - The Eruption

I don't feel good right now. I'm emotionally drained and I don't want to feel anymore. I got into a huge fight with Jesse and I hate him so fucking much right now. This week was so stressful, I can't take anything anymore.

I just freaked out on him and I really just wanted to end it. I can't handle anything between us anymore. I love him and I love him so fucking much but I need to get away and I am not running away, I just need to take a long break.

He wouldn't even look at me, we argued with him facing the fucking wall all night. All I could think was "well screw you buddy, i'm so gone." And I will be. I need to breathe, I need this weight to be lifted off of my shoulders. I even told him to get the hell out of the room because I don't want him anywhere near me. Now he's in my room and I will be kicking him out of there when I go to bed.

As you can tell, I'm angry with him, this is the worst I have felt about him in years. I don't care if I treat him badly right now, I don't. I'm at the end of the rope right now.

I am thinking about leaving the city for a long time. I know it's unfair to leave with the kids but this is the only way I can keep my sanity. I can do my art elsewhere and continue on with my goals easily without him.

Anyway, enough about this.

I need to go lay down.