I am at my sisters house right now. I packed up the kids and all the things they will need for the day and decided to hang out here until the sun goes down. My house is too hot inside and I don't want to be hanging out in the basement all day. I am sick of the basement.

I can't stand summer most of the time. I am not a summer person at all. When I was younger I used to love it because I could go to the beach/lake and go camping but now I just don't care so much about that stuff. I have not done anything like that for five years. Maybe I need to but who knows.

Last night was the first time in weeks that I got a great amount of sleep. I have had insomnia for a while and it was making me feel so miserable.

I spent a few of those nights completely awake. I would be still laying awake when Jesse would be getting ready for work. I would feel so tired and it felt like I could not move my limbs at all. My head hurt but my mind felt alive. One day I had to have my sister spend the day over to watch the kids just so I could sleep.

Jesse thinks I need to do more creating because I have put it all off for now. Maybe he is right. I just don't have the time to do what I want though. I am far too busy now. I really want to get back to work and I know that I should so I should find a way no matter what.

I have been singing a lot. I might have a band soon as well. I am a little afraid of it for some reason, it's like I feel too naked and exposed when I sing. I just have to say the words and it can be put together so easily it is just me that has to be able to do it.

I don't know what's with me lately. Why can't I just do what I love like I used to?