Oh my goodness I have not updated this in a long time. It feels like it has been a year at least. I'm enjoying livejournal, what can I say.

Things are going ok. I have been busy raising my three kids, trying to paint and get a ton of projects started all while going to a lot of therapy for my back.

Some days I just want to cry, I have so much I have to take care of. My back can send me into tears most days but I get through it. I look at the beautiful faces of my children and that changes all the hurt I feel in my body in a simple second.

My daughter made me a stepping stone. It is just the cutest thing ever. She used my favorite colors. I want to take her to paint some pottery when we have a free day. Next weekend might be ok for that.

For a girl who still has some issues with being tied down in a relationship I still love Jesse. I am rarely confliced as I once was. I would be sent into panic attacks when we first met because his presence was so smothering. I didn't know how to give in and just be content with anyone but myself. It took me years to learn to just love without worry. I remember those days when I would just stare at this weird person laying in my bed, snoring and taking up half of my bed. I would think of ways to get him out of there and question the living situation. Funny isn't it? I still can't have him touching me when it's time to actually sleep but I can handle him being in the same bed through the night.

I'm so odd about my space.

I have been reviewing my life a lot lately. I am happy even though I still feel depressed about health issues. Things will get better, I know this, so I don't let it get me down. I will have moments of frustration where I will cry it all out for a few minutes, take a deep breath of relief and remember what makes me the happiest.