I'm just sitting here with a large cup of hot chocolate feeling very tired. I need so much sleep lately, I'm starting to wonder if I am depressed or something. I don't really feel like I am but I don't really have time to stop and think about it. I get bothered that my life is so busy so maybe that's it. I'm just wanting to have a break of some kind.

Ailah started preschool and my son is always seeing somebody because of his no-talking situation. It's more than just not talking though, his speech therapist and psychologist keep autism on the back of their minds. I don't really feel he has any form of autism at all but I can't be 100% sure either. He is such an unique child but a handful. He can be two kids in one most days and occasionally I feel like he is three kids in one. I cannot let him out of my sight. He can tune people out whenever he wishes and if he is fed up with people trying to get his attention he will go into his room and close his door. I will try go in there and he will scream at me and slam the door in my face. He is almost three years old and he is just so moody. His fits come and go if he is frustrated and sometimes I just get so overwhelmed by him. He doesn't like textures, he doesn't like food. I am constantly worried about his health because it's a fight to get any kind of nutrition into him. He is so great at the same time though, he is so cuddly and adorable, too adorable. Everyone thinks he's a girl because of his golden brown soft curls and huge brown eyes. He has a really soft voice and he can be so tender.

By the end of some days I just feel so burnt out. I love him so much yet he is a major challenge. He keeps me on my toes, keeps my mind working non-stop. I have to try work with his senses, find all sorts of ways to communicate with him and ways to deal with his tantrums and his hate for food. His sleeping patterns are never normal. I would not change anything though. Jesse and I will always say how much work out lives are but it's so worth it.

Today he has an asseessment with his psychologist, which is also an assessment for a special needs preschool. Ailah is in the same preschool and is one of their "typical" children(normal developing children). The school takes all sorts of kids which I think is great, it helps the typical kids and special needs kids interact and keep in as normal a setting as possible.

Tonight is also Ailah's soccer registration. It is her second year playing soccer. She just loves it. The first year was the best, watching all these three year olds run all over the place. At one game Ailah wasn't even running after the ball, she was just running with her team, they sort of just follow the leader. Suddenly she stops and starts chasing a bird in the sky. Occasionally two kids would stop to play or run into out of the game and into another game going on. That's how fun those games are to watch. I wish I could have put Gian in soccer this year. Next year he should be good to go.

Anyway, here are a few cute pictures of the boys :)