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A new beginning in two different ways
7:17 p.m. Aug. 01, 2004
The current mood of burntautumn@accesscomm.ca at www.imood.com


The baby is very active today. It feels like there are little explosions going off in my belly all day. If it's not hiccup-like pops then it's constant kicking. I lay down for a nap and I can see limbs moving from side to side and it can feel a little gross at times.

I'm just shy a few days of being 34 weeks and I want to have this baby now. I'm obsessed with my body right now, I'm obsessed with everything and I'm getting my house fully prepared. I know it's getting close, my other children were a few weeks early from their due dates and I feel this one will be too.

My son is spending the weekend at my mother's house. She lives about an hour and a half out of the city. Her sisters are there for the weekend as well, everyone is vising my grandmother before she heads off to Scotland. I don't know how long she is going for but she only has a month or two to live. She is also taking my great grandmother's ashes back with her. I wish I could have seen my great grandmother one last time, I wanted to my children to meet her. She died in her 90's on New Years day and no one told me until the early spring. I was a little disappointed about that.

One of these days I'll make it to Scotland. I travel a lot but it's always been in North America. I have yet to go overseas and when I do, Scotland and Ireland are my first destinations.

I have had people in my family die but it's different when you know that someone is going to die. It just feels so quiet, not quite sad or anything, just quiet.

Well I think I am going to paint for a while and listen to Loreena McKennitt. I'm starting a fantasy painting tonight and music is a must, especially the type of music. It creates an atmosphere of beautiful feelings, even images.

Jesse wants to watch me oil paint tomorrow. I don't know why but he's always been facinated when I paint with oils. He just sits there and stares and asks all sorts of questions. It's kind of cute actually because my daughter is the same way. I guess it just makes Jesse seem to child-like and innocent.



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Small update, very small. - Nov. 21, 2005
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