Grrr..I gotta change this stupid layout. Why can't I remember to do that.

Anyway. I had an appointment with my obstetrician and now I just feel sad. I should be feeling hopeful but messed up hormones are taking over. The ultrasound shows everything is a month behind schedule and the baby looks normal, but there is a little something wierd with the heart. The heartbeat is good so that may just be soemthing that really isn't anything at all. The doctor said everything will probably be fine but there is still risks.

I don't like hearing that at all. I feel like I messed up somehow and I just want to be in control of everything. I'm a mother, that feeling is inevitable.

I'm drinking a lot of orange juice today. I like to stick my cup in the freezer wrapped in saran wrap for about half an hour. I like it with sort of a slushy texture. I then stick a bunch of ice cubes in it and drink it with a straw. It's the best way. I drink all my drinks super cold, half ice cubes and half liquid.

All week I have been living on soup. I don't want to eat anything else, just soup and super cold drinks. I will eat the occasional sandwich but that's about it.

I'm still losing weight, not intentionally because the morning sickness is subsiding but I just don't feel like eating at all or I just forget, then have half a bowl of soup when I get hungry enough to remember.

I did lose another seven pounds and it doesn't really feel like it.