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More fears to overcome...I will conquer!!!
2:17 a.m. Jan. 06, 2004
The current mood of burntautumn@accesscomm.ca at www.imood.com


Well two of my stitches finally came out. Relief. They were starting to pinch my gums. One more left to go.

I'm trying to figure out plans for the Opeth and Moonspell concert. I have a dentist appointment the very next day so I either have to fly or drive straight home after. Now, I can either go on Friday, take the kids with me and stay at my dads for five days(there is no way I will be away from my kids for more than a few days) or I can leave the day before the show and as I said before, go straight home after so I can make my appointment. I don't really want to have to drag my kids with me if i'm going to pull an all nighter driving. It's a 7 or 8 hour drive and I'm sick of it. I used to live in Edmonton off and on so I was travelling back and forth so often for a few years and the thought of the trip makes me yawn.

We'll see though. We might just fly, even though I think it's a waste of money. The doctor will deffinately have to prescribe me something for that. Every past flying experience has been so nerve wracking that I swear I sweat so much from the anxiety that I lose a few years of my life.

Heights and me do not go well together. I can't even climb a tree without wanting to throw up or faint.

The very first time I flew I was with my whole family. I was gripping a magazine and practically made it all soggy. Although that was my first time. I flew alone twice and once with Jesse. The flight with Jesse was okay but the last time I flew alone there was some strange things going on with the plane. I had a panic attack and it wasn't pretty. It sorta scarred me.

It will also be the kids first time flying, if they come along, and if I'm all stressed out how am I supposed to let them feel safe?

This is my chance to change all that though, that is, if we decided to fly.

Grr...

Maybe I should just fly with Jesse and my sister and see how that goes before I decide to freak my kids out. Hehe.

I am doing good at overcoming all my fears though. I don't mind that dentist anymore when this fall I would actually cry if I knew I had to go. Pathetic yes, but I had a REALLY bad experience. I'm also swallowing pills, a little bit. I'm cheating and biting them in half first. Heh heh heh.





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