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I'm bored right now
12:35 a.m. Nov. 20, 2003
The current mood of burntautumn@accesscomm.ca at www.imood.com


Listening to the last album Emperor ever put out. Why did these guys have to call it quits, why couldn't they continue on? It makes me sad. I remember the days I used to only listen to Emperor and Tori Amos. Those were strange days.

I didn't do too much today. I worked my vocals. I felt sick after. I couldn't believe how I just felt this wierd burning sickness in my chest, almost like I had more to release. I've got to find some musicians soon. I'm hoping early next year will be a good time.

I dropped the kids off at my mom's and Jesse and I went shopping. We joked, laughed and told sick dirty jokes. We got home, put the kids to bed and tried to watch a movie but ended up fooling around of course. I caressed his face while he drifted off. The glow of the t.v. made his face look a strange greyish blue. He smelled so good as I listened to him breathe. I kissed his forehead and left the room. I couln't sleep so I didn't want to disturb him by making a bunch of noise.

Tomorrow I pick up new brushes for my oil painting. I ruined a bunch of my really expensive oil painting brushes by accident. I felt like kicking myself after I did that. I have a bad habbit of doing that lately. I wrecked a $35 brush recently, that one was for watercolor. I normally take excellent care of my brushes but this year I managed to diminish my art supplies all out of stupidity. It's going to cost me a lot to replace everything. I have brushes, but not the ones I want.

I want to paint a nude portrait. I've done pencil and charcoal portraits and they turned out great but I think now will be a good time to try do a painting. I just need a model. Jesse used to be my model but I tend to display my art to give them their chance to be viewed and critiqued. Basically everyone of my friends and family has seen him naked in that way. He wasn't too pleased, neither was my dad.

Hehe.

I don't know, I personally don't have a problem with showing my body do I don't get what the big deal is.

I'm hungry now...and it's too late to eat. I also don't want to go to bed either. What am I to do now?





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Small update, very small. - Nov. 21, 2005
Hurry up and eat some of this - Aug. 31, 2005
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