I don't feel well today, my emotions are fucked right up. I am bitchy, short tempered and just plain fed up of my life. Now don't take that too seriously, I'm not going to kill myself, I just feel really strange today, which I don't get seeing as I woke up in a great mood.

Ah yes, my morning was wonderful. I woke to my daughter hugging me and telling me she wanted me to read her a story. So we layed in my bed side by side reading stories and talking about the snow outside. When my son finally woke up we all headed to the kitchen and made omlettes.

In the afternoon my mom picked me up and we went shopping. I did get a little sick while we were out plus I was underdressed and froze my ass off, YET I still managed to stay in a good mood. It wasn't until she dropped me off that the mood swings started. Intense emotion just poured, I was really happy or really short fused and almost frustrated.

First thing Jesse mumbles is it must be PMS. Must be. I fucking hope so, this is just too insane. Yesterday I cried watching a commercial. I felt stupid after because I had tears running down my face and I kept thinking Jesse was going to die. I know he's not, but at that moment the thought of him dying just filled my heart with such sadness.

Who knows, maybe I miss him. He's been so busy everyday this week. He's home for supper then he's off somewhere until pretty late. I usually don't notice, but today and tonight I'm feeling kind of empty. Maybe it's just the sex because it's spectacular. I could live and die with him inside me, I love feeling so immensly close to him. I love it when he holds me, I feel so small and fragile. I love feeling like that.

He balances me out. I'm usually really aggressive and outspoken, I stand up for myself and always speak my mind. People think I look intimidating. (I guess when I look serious I look mean?) When I'm in his arms though, nothing matters, there are no thoughts or worries, just love, beautiful feelings and such calmness. I feel taken care of, blanketed in protection and just so complete.

I feel so sappy right now, I think I'm going to make myself hurl.

Eh, I'll probably be mad about something irrelavant in two minutes anyway.

Night.