CURRENT | PREVIOUS | ARCHIVES | PROFILE | WEBSITE | GUESTS | NOTES | E-MAIL | DIARYLAND


Soul searching is so intruiging
1:53 p.m. Oct. 02, 2003
The current mood of burntautumn@accesscomm.ca at www.imood.com


I went to Meihua last night and about halfway through the class I got sick and had to sit out for the rest of the physical activities. I was fevered, nausiated and chilly. After the physical stuff was through, we all got comfy and had a meditation cirle and talked. I could barely concentrate on meditating. Near the end of it I did finally focus better and I felt better. I have a lot of episodes like that, where wierd physical things happen that make me ill.

I seriously and obviously need balance.

I feel that I have a lot of releasing to do, more than I can imagine yet. I want to scream, I have this urge to yell my fucking head off. When I can't get the words out, I am left trying not to cry. I felt like crying last night, I wanted to scream, but obviously couldn't, then I felt off balanced and my body was buzzing, I wanted to release something, but decided instead to just clear my head and it worked. It took a while, but it worked and by the end of the class I felt great.

Kai's mom is going to teach me some form of meditation that sounds interesting. I can't wait for that.

I am almost finished my painting last night. I was up until 2am before I finally decided to get to bed. I did something a little different this time, the colors are so vibrant, contrasting, yet serene. Jesse was staring at it while I worked on it, he said it was hypnotizing. I guess that's a good thing. The one thing that I know I want to attain from these pieces are the images, everything is detailed and line plays a big part into it, connecting it, yet seperating it. The color also helps that seperation. I feel they are busy, yet have a calming feel since that's what mood I transform into almost instantly when I'm working on them.

My dad wanted to know what paintings I sent in for the contest because he's going to a veiwing of all the art on display. It just happened to be in the city he lives in.

I forgot about all that until he brought it up.





I am living in a world that is asleep - Jul. 17, 2007
- - May. 07, 2006
Small update, very small. - Nov. 21, 2005
Hurry up and eat some of this - Aug. 31, 2005
- - Aug. 18, 2005