Hearing: The Gathering - A life all mine

Finally, this cold is starting to go away. No more aches and no more fevers. Everything is a golden hue outside, leaves dancing like little flames, the sky is like cold steel blue, and the grey pavement is littered with the orange and yellow leaves, the air I breathe smells clean.

I did sprain my wrist though. I was shaking the water out of the humidifier and somehow screwed my wrist up doing that. It hurts as I type this.

My weekend was so busy and hectic. Thursday night around midnight I was sitting on the couch watching t.v. when my sister calls. She was three hours out of the city and told me to wait up for her. Why couldn't she call me when she was leaving the city she lives in? I don't get that, why call me at the last minute when i'm soon to be in bed.

So I waited up for her and at 3am she and her boyfriend arrived and we sat around talking and getting the guest bed set up. I was finally in bed and sleeping after 4am. I had to wake just after 9am and had three screaming toddlers with me all day.

I had more family coming in Friday so I was scrambing around inbetween snack times and nap times to clean and prepare my house. I thought I was going to have more guests, but it turned out they were staying elsewhere or in hotels. Jesse did show up after work with 24 red roses and then I had to answer everyone's questions about why he gets me so many flowers so often, like it's just not a normal thing to do. Who cares though, they're beautiful and nice. He's a nice guy and if they are for sucking up for something, well then it worked so it's all that matters. I think he is just really appreciative of the job I have here at home being a full time mom.

Saturday was slightly better. I slept for a full twelve hours almost, waking up at noon and just visiting with everyone. I hosted a dinner and had the help from my mom and brother who made things so I didn't have to do everything. I showed off my art because I like hearing everyone's opinions. I need some feedback.

Yesterday was very different. I found out my cousin was talking about everyone to, well, everyone he could about anyone possible. It amazes me that he doesn't think that it would get back to the people he talks about. I got hurt when I heard he was saying things about my parenting skills. It was stupid really, complaining that I let my daughter run around in the nude, like kids don't go through phases and what's he so worried about anyway, she's growing out of it and he only barely sees her. I get so sick of hearing "put some clothes on your kid" and to which I always reply "I've dressed her several time a day, you try it out, see if she keeps them on".

He thinks I'm not strict enough but when he's in charge, they basically get in trouble for anything they do.

I'm kind of mad at him still. He was living with my brother and was just kicked out for not paying rent, then my grandmother took sides and of course took my cousins side, which is so strange to me, how can a grandmother pick favorites, all the time, not just once in a while, she does this so often. Then, my grandmother said she didn't feel welcome when she was here because no one would talk to her. We talked to her, we tried to catch up and everytime we asked her anything she would respond cold and rude and we didn't think anything of it, we hugged her good-bye even. Now my grandmother and cousin are mad at everyone and we're all left here dumbfounded.

I think my dad was the only one to leave without some kind of grudge. He did leave pretty early, everyone was in my room early sunday while I layed in bed, I was so tired I wouldn't get out. I remember most of the good-bye's. It was kind of silly.

At least yesterday was relaxing somewhat. We had some people over for pizza and movies, mainly Jesse's friends.

Now that the weekend is over it's time for me to get back to work. I have my laptop set up in my art room, paints and the easel. I am going to spend every evening locked in that room pouring out my heart, all while I listen to music and sing quietly.

I must take advantage of the energy autumn gives me.