I'm bored right now and it's my own fault. I've got no modivation to do anything at the moment. I went to bed early and woke up early. I was up at 8am and i'm not sure if I was groggy because I didn't want to be up that early or if I really need to catch up on sleep.

In any case, it's been a long day so far. I am going to be making a new layout this week. I just don't know when it'll be up.

I want to paint outside today and I think I will do that when Jesse gets home from work. We planned a BBQ for just us. I want this week to just be a week of quiet evenings. I need it.

My brother gave me all his yard stuff. There's a cherry wood picnic table, one of those wood/iron benches and tons of gardening tools. I don't have a garden, but I do want to get more trees and shrubs going. I am a tree person and don't really care to tend to flowers.

I also really miss Jesse today. I felt so wierd about him yesterday and I can't explain how I was reacting towards him. I just felt distant. I think he did too and everytime we spoke, it would turn into a very small little bickering match. I stayed away from him most of the day, then when we were watching the Six Feet Under DVD he kept trying to kiss me and I would just push his face away or move mine to give a subtle hint. I just couldn't even try be near him.

Finally after his many failed attempts I went towards him and bit his shoulder. Not hard, but enough to say "back off". Of course this only made things worse, he kept trying and it turned into some crazy frenzied hungry kinda kissing. We could have bit each other's lips right off. We did that for a while and slowly made our way to the bedroom floor, where angy sex proceeded. Angry make up sex is always the best, I don't know what it is, but it intensifies everything.

Funny thing is we weren't exactly fighting yesterday, just more annoyed with one another. It was our first time being intimate with his new hair and all I could think about was how it felt like I was doing some army dude or something because of the shaved head. I'm used to grabbing his hair so it was a bit of a change there. Oddly enough I like to do all kind of experimenting and the only thing I find strange is a hair cut.

Now I have to get used to his hair in that apsect.