It's kind of hot today. My house isn't too bad inside.

I had a really strange dream about my mom's cousin last night. She is not much older than I am, maybe 4 years older. I have not seen her in 6 years. She used to stay with us on weekends while she was in boarding school. I didn't hang out with her too much at that time. I got along much better with her younger sister, who is the same age as me.

In the dream she was going through a lot of things, she was lost and confused and I was trying to reach out to her. I am going to email her, not going to mention the dream, but I will tell her she was in my thoughts lately.

I've had a few of my mom's cousins get in touch with me this past year. They're all around my age, young enough to have my mom as their aunt. It works out wierd, my mom's mom is way older than her siblings so all my mom's cousins are fairly young. I lost touch with all these people years ago so it's nice to hear from them again.

Friday is our(Jesse and I) 5th year anniversary. Five years. It seems so long. We're not sure what we're going to do yet but it's when we are suppose to be married. I decided to go ahead and marry the boy. I mean, he is the one thing besides me being mother that I know I want. It's all about fate. We both believe fate brought us together.

I had this strange memory last night that I had to share with him, because I never did. About a year before I met him I was walking around late at night in this strange area of the city. It's an area I used to always see him in. One night there was this house and it was playing loud heavy music, music that I listen to. I walked by slowly, looking at the place and the there was a small belcony and a huge window blowing black curtains and inside all you could see was a glow from a black light. It felt familiar, because my bedroom was just like that room. I became curious to who could live there.

I never did find out, but when I did see Jesse in that area, I had no clue where he lived, but I always figured he lived in that area and I pretended that was his house. Whenever I seen him, something felt familiar about him. It was intuition and I knew he would come into my life.

Even before I seen that place, I had a dream we met outside of it. It was so strange. Of course he didn't live there, but he lived in a place that looked a lot like it and when we did meet, it was so comfortable and familiar for both of us.

There have only been two things in life that I have been so sure of and that was Jesse and my kids, especially my daughter. Before my daughter was born I would have dreams about her, and how she looks now is how she looked in my dream, her personality, everything. I knew I was going to have her a few years before I even became pregnant. I was expecting her for a while.

It was more mild with my son. I had a feeling a boy was next and that he was to be here right away. Everyone thought I was crazy, I thought I was crazy but I knew he had to be here and sure enough, he came.

Everyone still questions be how I could plan two babies so young, so close together. I didn't exactly plan them, they planned it. I had these feelings so I didn't do anything to try stop them. Now, I know i'm done. Everything from here on is up to me and for me. I'm complete for my family. I know most people plan out their life first then start a family, but mine HAD to be the other way around.