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| The diaries 5:34 p.m. Jun. 13, 2003
I was up so early this morning. I was able to get myself and the kids ready, do laundry, clean the house and the bedrooms before lunchtime. I had a afternoon nap with the kids, which was really not long enough. It took me a while to fall asleep. I kept having wierd dreams and the dreams made it seem like I wasn't really sleeping, just listening while I layed there. I would hear the doorknob click from the backdoor over and over in my dream, then I would suddenly wake up and there would be no noises, no one there at all. The same thing happened last night. Both times I ate right before I feel asleep. I think it's true about what they say about eating and how it causes nightmares before bed. I had horrible dreams last night. For the first time ever I woke up drenched in sweat. It wasn't pleasant, it was just awful. I had to lay there and cool myself off, I don't even remember falling back to sleep. This afternoon I did arts & crafts with my daughter. We also made some paper dolls and glued glitter all over them. My sister is gone for the weekend and Jesse and I plan to spend a lot of time together. I was bored two nights ago and reading my old diaries. I have them in boxes, and I have a few in my desk drawer. Too many old diaries. I threw out a lot too, just think how many I would have had. I wish I kept them all. In ond diary talks all about meeting Jesse. It made me smile to read it, all the description of emotion and the detail of falling in love. It was refreshing and I felt like I giddy teenager once again. I'm still on that high, still feeling so brand new and excited. Maybe I'll let him read the diary entries, I used to let him read a few pages when I had too much to say and couldn't bring myself to speak the actual words to anyone. I have that problem a lot to this day. I write letters to people because it's so easy to let it all out that way. Anyway, this heat is really getting to me. I need to be in the cool air.
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