Treewillow left me a very nice guestbook entry and I would just like to thank her so much, even though I already left one in her guestbook. It just really means a lot to me right now because I feel I am dealing with a lot right now.

My brother's swelling is still not going down, but he is able to write some things down. He can breathe on his own, but they're not sure how long he'll be having to breathe out of the tube.

That's all I know for now. My mom is supposed to be calling me back this afternoon with an update.

I think I might know what is wrong with my stomack. I'm figuring I have an ulcer now.

I have had all kinds of digestive problems since I was 17 so i'm not surprised. I think having my gallbladder removed has just kind of make my stomack more sensitive. Normally people are fine after having their gallbladder remved, but I think I fall in the 1% who have trouble afterwards with too much bile in the digestive system.

I'm doing what I can to make myself better. Reflexology, diet, activated charcoal drinks, excercise to keep my blood flowing so I heal properly and lots of meditation and imagery. I feel mind power can heal anything.

I also believe in the whole thing that thoughts and emotions trigger these things in the body and it really is interesting to take up and it's a reason I want to learn all kinds of metaphysical techniques.

Stomack problems usually mean stress, tension, nervousness, not being able to let go and holding in fears. It makes total sense seeing as I am not good at relieving stress and I have trouble overcoming fears. I still can't swallow pills to this day.

The first time I had symtoms of stomack problems was when I was going through some highly stressful times. My parents were divorcing and I started having memories of my childhood and being sexually abused my a relative. I then decided to go to the police about it because the person who did it, has two small daughters. It made me sick to think it could be happening to them too. My mom also took me to B.C. which she thought would help me, and it did partly. I was alone alot and didn't make many friends. I missed my old friends and just kind of had new fears brought upon myself.

I was scared the relative would come after me and we lived out in the middle of no where so I was just afraid of everything because I was dealing with so much. During all this I had my first gallstone attack.

I find i'm not so scared, but I do find I still have a lot of trouble releasing feelings, like worry and stress, thus the whole reason why my problems don't go away.

Anyway....

Jesse picked up some new art supplies for me during his lunch break, so when he gets home i'll be in my room back to creating. I took almost three days off. I was growing bored quickly.