Man.

I've been on two updates a day practically.

I'm so proud.

Anyway, my mom is going to help me start a business. Business is her thing. She used to start them up for people for a living. I'm so super duper excited about all of this.

I have always wanted to do things with my life, and I had many goals. I wanted to be a sex therapist, child psychologist, writer, detective and lastly, own my own business selling my merchandise(art) and other things that suite my fancy. I want to get one of these things completed right away and i'm working towards the business right now. I'll also be selling online and I am currently working on the website for it right now. It's taking a long time though.

I think getting all the merchandise ready will be fun. I'm going to the printers soon to get prints and calenders done.

There is just so much to do.

I want to do this while I have my kids at home with me. I want to go get my english degree, but I want to be home with the kids while they are growing up. I want to go to school when they are in school and then just write when i'm done and run my business. I just didn't know when I wanted to get everything together and now I finally do. It took a fuck of a long time because I feel I have spend the last few years wandering around confused and lost. I dropped out of school because I didn't know what I wanted to do and I thought I was just wasting time. It was a stupid mistake.

But, the past is the past.

Ew, I was painting today and there was this huge spider just above my head on the ceiling. I just cringed and freaked out. Yesterday I was doing laundry and a big black one jumped out from the washer. I was freaking. Now I keep thinking there are spiders crawling on me. I can't shake that feeling. I just cannot stand spiders.

When I was younger(around five-ish) my brother and I were playing with a water hose in the back yard. We stuck it up on one of those clothes-line poles and were playing in the running water. All of a sudden a whole bunch of spiders came running out from inside of the pole and rushed down the stream onto us. Those little buggers stuck and just kind of kept crawling all over us. We freaked out of course and since then, I cannot stand spiders. I like drawing them, and I love their webs, I just can't stand the sight of them. Horrid memories.

Ugh.

I think i'll go read some before I head to bed.

Beautiful night.