Jesse bought me Acid Bath's Double Live Bootleg DVD. I love him so much today. I love him a lot anyway, not just because he bought me the DVD but because he is so caring and selfless sometimes and he never forgets to kiss me constantly.

I had my surgery yesterday. I went to the hospital at 6:30am, got prepped and went under at 8am. I woke at 10:30am, cold, shaking, low on oxygen and had a rapid heart rate so I was being monitored closely. I fell asleep for another hour before being sent back to my regular room. I was there until 5:30pm, all drugged out on morhpine and getting constant doses of Gravol. I'm left with no gallbladder and four small cuts around my belly, the one cut in my belly button is bigger though, since that's where they took the gallbladder out from. I feel so bruised inside, like I was battered in my sleep.

Jesse stayed in the hosital with me the whole time. Ailah was at home with his mom and Gian was with us. Everyone was in love with him. The nurses took Gian every once in a while to help out and rocked him to sleep, plently of people were walking him, even to let Jesse sleep a while when I was having my surgery. It all went well. I've been sleeping constantly until now. I had to pick up my painkillers, even though I don't really think i'll need them. Pain doesn't bother me that much.

I am too scared to take off these bandages. I'm scared to see these deep cuts. I don't know why, i've never been scared to see blood or cuts on myself, maybe it's just because they hurt so much, a different kind of pain that what i'm used to feeling.

I've been craving marshmellows ever since I got out of the hospital. I went to the bakery just to find something made of marshmellows, but no luck. Strange isn't it.