Sneaker Pimps - Velvet Divorce/Walking Zero

I have this book that I really want to start reading. It's called Irish Folklore & Fairy tales Omnibus. I skimmed through a bit of the book, which is huge and it's seeming more and more interesting. I bought the book last summer while I was in Edmonton and still havn't gotten around to reading it. I read so many books since then and there are so many books for me to still get to besides that one. I have a bunch of Mercedes Lackey books to read, The Mayfair Witches series by Anne Rice and then a bunch of others. I have way too many books, but I can't help it, I just love to read.

I also love to write. I havn't written much lately and it really makes me sad knowing this. I was searching for some old pictures last night and I came across all of my old stories, some finished and some I just forgot about. There were pages everywhere, in binders and other things. I found old disks too, so many stories, so many words all made by me. Even as I just glanced at a title, a wave of intense memory just flushed through my entire body and I seen the story play out like a movie at a super fast pace. It was like a different kind of power that just took me back inside myself and I wished for a dark room with only light on the paper I wrote on as I played some insane stringed music inside my head, working with my imagination.

There is so much inside of me I never know where to start, I never know if i'll be able to keep my focus because i've had that happen to me before, I had to jump around to different stories, spending countless of insane hours just writing, non stop. I guess I know what I need to do in order to work because I go into this crazy stage, like i'm a mad scientist, and I don't have that kind of time anymore.

Scarling - Hunt/Make You Believe

I talked all night with Jesse, even if he dozed off here and there. I told him all about my desire to move overseas. I want to go to Ireland, Paris and Italy. I want to be like my grandmother, she's been all over the world and the coolest place she's been is Norway. I think I want to go there too.

My grandmother always freaked out my friends, they all called her a witch. She does look like one though and she is a very spiritual person, I even practice some of it, along with all the other things i've picked up on through my mother and my own self. Anyway, she is a Cree Indian, with long white hair and she dresses in good tastes, lots of silver jewelery, stones and nice fabrics. She gives me strange jewelery every year, a ring with a crystal shard on it, turqoise, necklaces, fabrics and some other odd things I can use to decorate my home. I love her a lot, she's one of the only relatives besides my siblings, parents and children that I don't ever want to see die.

I used to wish I could travel with her when I was little, I loved going through all her photo albums and seeing all these strange places and hearing stories, especially about the Trolls in Norway. I loved seeing my grandfather's parents, my great grandparents from Scotland and hearing their stories. I never cared for my dad's side, it wasn't anything interesting, even the strange french mixture, I just see that it gave me a funny french last name. A lot of my cravings to travel came from my mother's side of the family.

I told Jesse all about my plans, he got really excited about it too and wanted to start helping me plan out some ways to go somewhere. My grandfather went to Scotland two years ago and I don't think it costed him much to travel, so i'm going to talk to him about it since I want to go to Scotland too. I even want to make a visit to New Zealand. Dammit, why does everything have to be so far away from me. I want to see it all before I die.

Anyway, today is Jesse's last day and the day he finds out about this other job. I kind of hope he can be at home inbetween jobs for at least a week so we can leave this city for a bit. I want to take him to the concert, I just hope my dad picked up enough tickets. I told him about TOOL coming to Calgary and I think he might try go to that, I'm not much of a Tool fan myself, but I would go with him.

I feel like dancing, or sleeping. I think i'll go getmyself some more tea to drink and decide which to do first.