Oh my god. I just got into a huge fight with my older brother. He is so closed minded. He has some issues with me that I never knew about. He said that I was never there for him and I even tried to explain life works in odd ways, like, hmm, I was going through my own shit too maybe, like I could really be saving his ass while I was trying to keep myself sane. He only wants me to save him, treat him all special because he's in trouble and give up all i'm trying to cope with in my own life, yet when I would try talk about my life, he would lose interest, he just couldn't give back what he took. So I gave up trying to keep that kind of a relationship with him and kept it more like subtle, but I would still share what I could.

He said a bunch of shitty things to my mom too. I could just kick his face in. He has the same issues with her. He's calling himself the black sheep of the family. What the fuck is his problem? He never wanted to do anything with the family, he never tried being understanding. If one of us screws up, he does what my dad would do, the only two who work this way too, and that is to freak out and lose it on the person. Make them feel like shit and try make the person do it their way to get out of trouble.

He doesn't understand people need a friend, they need patience and understanding. They're just pushing my younger siblings away. My mom told him to not be so controlling and just let things work out on their own. The big fight was with my dad and younger siblings and now my older brother is trying to get involved and fix it his way. No one works the same way, he didn't want our advice or work with the ways we knew how to help people.

He says my dad was the only person there for him, well all my dad do was bail his ass out of jail. My mom wasn't going to do that, she believes in fairness. She even tried that a few times, but he would end up back in jail or in court over and over, not really learning anything, so she did the painful thing, the thing she knew would be more helpful for his learning experience in life, and that was to stand back and let him figure it out for himself. Now he resents her for that. He's a fucking selfish asshole. We even explained our reasons. He's so frustrating. I think i'll be like my mom and have to just ignore him to avoid conflict. If anyone thinks differently, then he just won't accept it.

I'm so pissed right now. I just hope he stays away from my siblings and I hope he doesn't freak on them, it'll only anger them and push them further away from anyone.