I have the worst headache right now. I'm also getting some severe cramps. After having a baby, the first period is the worst ever. I remember about four months after having Ailah, I called my mom to tell her I was having some pains that felt like I was in labour. She told me to relax, that it was all normal and not to complain because it gets worse with every kid. Gee, thanks for scaring me. I do feel miserable though. I'm still dehydrated from my flu and now this has to happen.

Jesse and I were laying in bed talking about how shitty this week has been so far. He had all four of his wisdom teeth pulled on Monday and has a bunch of stitches, then he has been in pain since, then yesterday he gets the flu. I swear, this weekend better be good or i'm going to go insane.

It's hot out right now. I have the air conditioner going and I have a fan in front of it to make it really cool in here. It feels nice on the back of my neck right now.

I also really need art supplies. I'm so low on everything. I can't even think to begin anything. I'm right out of canvas and my paint selection sucks, I have many shades of yellow and just tiny bits of a few other colors, then a large amount of white. If I was really desperate I could think of something, but just thinking about it all makes me lose inspiration.

I want to do more nude art. I did a piece on Jesse the first year we were together. I hung it on our wall and whenever people would come by, they would look away all embarrased knowing it was Jesse's naked body they were looking at. I loved it though, it was a great pose. My mom thought I was wierd to let everyone see my boyfriends manhood and my dad couldn't stop laughing and told me I was bad. Everytime my older brother would look at it he would laugh, forgetting it was there, staring at him. Nigel really liked it though, he couldn't keep his eyes off of it.

Jesse threw it out after a year or so. I was so pissed. He said he didn't like to be exposed. Well he was the one who agreed to stick it on the wall.

A few years ago, I asked a friend to pose for me. He agreed, but I never got around to doing it because we lost contact. My sister had a crush on him and I think she still might a bit. He liked her too. They got along great, too bad nothing more happened, he was so sweet, the kind of guy you would deffinately set a sister up with.

I love playing match maker. It happened with Jesse and I. My friend got it all set up, but she did it for her own evil purposes. She wanted my older brother and when He didn't want her, she tried to rip us apart and turned against me. I havn't talked to her for almost 4 years. I still hate her.

Fuck. Am I ever rambling on and on or what?