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ivy green bed
12:27 a.m. Jun. 13, 2002
The current mood of burntautumn@accesscomm.ca at www.imood.com


I've made myself a play list i'm going to listen to as I type.

Dimmu Borgir - Perfection of Vanity

Emperor - An elegy of Icaros

On Thorns I lay - My Angel

Katatonia - Dispossession

Theatre of Tragedy - on whom the moon doth shine

Old Man's Child - What malice embrace

Nine Inch Nails - The Fragile

Screw - She said

Katatonia - Chrome

Katatonia - tonight's music

It's cold and raining again. I went out for a bit tonight with Jesse. I bought him the movie Blow for Father's day, cause he thinks Johnny Depp is hot, and cause it's a good movie..then we contemplated on going to browse for sex toys, and decided to save that for the weekend when my sister comes so we can take her along.

While we were out the lady at the till kept smiling at me all wierd, then when I got close enough to her, she complemented my new do, she just loved it and thought it was the cutest. I said thanks twice because she kept going on about it. My brother thinks the opposite. He woke up this morning and asked me what the hell I did to it. Gee, thanks for being nice about it. Jesse loves it, I think it's alright, but I don't know what my brother's problem is with it.

I absolutely love Katatonia. I can't get enough of these guys. I think i'm going to play them on repeat tonight as I snuggle up to Jesse. I can't wait to get into bed and just close my eyes to the sound of the rain outside my window. I love the rain, I love hearing it and watching it. Unfortunately I can't be in it too long because my body gets really achey. When it gets too bad, I have to sit in a hot tub so I can sleep at night...usually that happens on very cold winter nights when I have been out too long. I'm like an old person, ugh.

I talked to my mom on the phone tonight and she seems upset I changed the plans on her. She wanted to take Ailah and now my dad gets to see the kids this weekend, because he's coming down. They fight about everything, it's like the other gets jelous about who spends more time with them. It gets on my nerves, like i'm supposed to chose who should see them more.

I feel so tired. My doctor wanted to do a blood count on me, but I was too tired to stick around. I'm probably anemic again. My mom got mad at me for not doing it just then, but I told her I would do it tomorrow...but I won't. I had to tell her something.

Sleep. The images I get what I say the word in my head. My bed, my beautiful bed. My room looks like a feary fantasy world. My pillows are so fluffy and soft. My blanket is huge and warm. I just want to lay down and sink into it and never wake again, never dream again. I just want to feel the softness against my skin and keep my eyes closed tight. I really should go to bed. I really should get some sleep.

Beautiful night.





I am living in a world that is asleep - Jul. 17, 2007
- - May. 07, 2006
Small update, very small. - Nov. 21, 2005
Hurry up and eat some of this - Aug. 31, 2005
- - Aug. 18, 2005