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i can't stand not knowing
11:49 p.m. Jun. 11, 2002
The current mood of burntautumn@accesscomm.ca at www.imood.com


Tiamat - Skeleton Skeletron

Okay, so this is my second update today, but I have something on my mind. My mom called tonight, but it slipped my mind and I could not go over it with her. I need some kind of interpretation. It was a wierd dream I had, of things I kind of fear the most. I woke up feeling tense and scared, almost filled with paranoia.

Why would I have such dreams? It wasn't like it was on my mind at all. I know what I fear, but why would they show up all in one sleep? I know dreams are like a mind game, they never really seem what the show, they are always twisted like a puzzle for us to piece together, but I can't make sense of mine.

Jesse is watching freaks on t.v. He wants to go to a freakshow that is coming to the city sometime this summer. He wants me to go, but those things don't really facinate me, I know I will most likely yawn through it. I would rather travel to see a wicked concert.

I can't take it anymore.

I must cut my hair..well I want my baby bangs back. I don't mind hair hanging down my back, but I can't stand always having to push my hair off the way, or getting it out of my face, it truely pisses me off. I think i'll give myself a quick cut before bed.

Oh yeah, that reminds me. I have a doctors appointment. Gyno stuff. Yay. Those don't bother me like they do for some people, I just hate getting up early. I have to see about birth control and all that fun stuff. Jesse is thinking about just getting his wires cut. Sounds great to me.

I'm also thinking about just staying home and not travelling and just letting Ailah stay home this weekend. We will be travelling next weekend and my mom will be taking her then so it's no big deal. I'm just losing my interest in going anywhere. I feel so tired lately and I have been needing a nap every evening so far this week.

I wrote out every detail of my dream anyway in my diary Jesse gave me..so I can go over and ponder on it later. I have too many diaries. I have a box full of them, I even have a huge binder with two years worth of writings, then I have drawers full of stories and novels in progress. My mom and dad both bought me new diaries because they know writing is all I do. Jesse is also getting me another one...it's crazy.

Anyway, off to cut my hair.



I am living in a world that is asleep - Jul. 17, 2007
- - May. 07, 2006
Small update, very small. - Nov. 21, 2005
Hurry up and eat some of this - Aug. 31, 2005
- - Aug. 18, 2005