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Out of childhood and into sadness 7:19 p.m. Sept. 22, 2003
Too much sugar consumed in such a short amount of time. What is with me? I haven't touched much normal food lately, but everything I ate was practically pure sugar. I think I need sugar to feel normal or something. I also think that I am getting sick, well it's more like I am getting sick. I have a stuffy nose and a headache, plus a sore throat, and to make it more wierd, it's all on the left side only. I mean wierd because I rarely get sick. I'm also upset because I can't find my Gathering CD. I have no clue what happened to it and I feel like the soundtrack for my mood is burning a big hole in me, like something is missing inside and it's just wrong. I can't paint without my proper music. It's a must. I have to be able to feel everything around me, smell everything and hear it and I can create so effortlessly with the perfect set up. I think I'll end up moving my room around and begin a sewing project for my nephew's first birthday in two weeks. Ugh. I feel too horrible. So emotinally mixed up and so drained physically. Something inside cries for some kind of romance, something mysterious, something that takes focus, something distracting.
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