Lacuna Coil - Half Life

It is so windy outside. The window's are rattling and my bedroom door was doing the same thing. Now the belcony doors are open and the curtians are blowing around wildly. I can hear it against the side of the building, if it was dark out, it would make for a nice creepiness. It also rained last night. It smelled just delicious. I stood at the belcony door and stared into the darkness, listening to the rain fall down hard on the cement, the grass and on the metal outside. There was a bit of thunder and a bit of lighting. Beautiful.

Again, another fight with Jesse last night. It's become so repetitive, it's like a new part of my life i've come to accept as normal. I was cleaning my room, listening to Type O Negative and burning my favorite insence. It felt great to be all alone in my room, I let myself believe just for that little while that I was alone again. I smiled, I felt relief and a small urge of excitment. After I left my room, he was being himself. I said one thing to him, not to fight, just to state something I noticed him doing.

He got mad and ran off to the room. I followed and told him to get out, eventually he did, but we ended up back in and I was trying to explian why I asked what I did. He was becoming this big asshole during the process, called me a bitch, told me to shut up and I told him to get out again. Finally after doing some thinking, I told him to come back in. We argued a bit then it kind of settle with some resolvement. I'm sick of his attitude, like he's some kind of big baby. I have never felt such a repulsive feeling toward anyone this close to me ever. I want to just ignore him completely, he irritates me beyong belief.

Anyway, I was in my storage room the other day getting out the baby gates, because I need to keep my overly curious daughter out certian area of the house. I found a few things I want to pull out. My eisel and this beautiful windchime made of bamboo. I bought it for my sister for her grad, and she told me just to keep it for now. I am going to stick it just outside the belcony doors. My eisel is going into my room. After cleaning out my room and coming across some canvas and partially done paintings, I figured I better finish them soon.